Accomplice #1:

Champagne: Persian, 4.5 years old, world traveler, cat model, internet celebrity.

Background: rescue cat born in Thailand and has since moved to the Philippines and Germany. Notorious on airlines and intercity express trains for her (perfect) behaviour and regal presence. 






Accomplice #2

Kessy: Persian, 15 years old, adopted four weeks ago from the animal shelter with severe kidney ailment, given only four weeks to live but has since recovered.

Background: Born and raised in Berlin, prior criminal record not released. 









The set-up: home office with printer, side board, plants and carpet.

The plan: there was none.

The result: major. 







Is the coast clear? 




The dastardly dead:

Chew on innocent plants,

Taste the leaves. 

Uproot with no mercy.

Drop on the white carpet.

Cough up hairballs. 

The cover-up story:

look as cute as possible and pretend nothing happened. If it did, we had no prior knowledge. It was all part of the Canine Conspiracy. 

Plea Bargaining:

Kessy: not guilty due to dementia

Champagne: not guilty due to... well, not guilty.